Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Re Start

I have been saying all this year that I would re-start my blog…while my intentions were good my follow through sucked! And I am not a fan of this behavior…people who know me know this if nothing else about me. So first I’d like to apologize: to the people I could have helped but chose to keep my thoughts to myself, the people who did not even know I had a blog, and to myself for not using an outlet to express myself.

This has been an interesting year FULL of lessons. Had someone advised me of what would have taken place my response would be “you have to have me mixed up with someone else”. I often say my life is pretty normal and mild but after replaying 2012 I beg to differ now. From health scares to the depletion of my bank accounts God has allowed my strength and faith to increase. Yeah normally I deal with unsuccessful dates, inconsiderate friends, discontentment career wise, and feeling like I am losing myself as an individual…BUT ummm 2012 I was pushed to a new level.

Oftentimes I say as hard headed as I am some lessons are better not to have to be taught again in the same way.As much as I have progressed in life, I am apprehensive on things dealing with self. It takes a lot for me to coach, play and cheer myself on. I do it but I believe that delays “the play”. I can be the best coach/cheerleader/supporting staff for others…even when I don’t receive. However when it comes to me I don’t push myself entirely out there.  This year God chose some extreme ways to allow me to “see, hear and feel”.2012, I prayed for help with fear….PSA- Not only does pray work pllleeeaaassse be mindful of what you are praying for. When I tell you God took me there. Ha! I get it…not all of it but most of it. Now my goal is to fully walk in purpose. I always have goals and challenges for myself but 2013 I will not 'L.I.V.E' (lassitude, ignavia, verecund, & effete).

I realize you can only stretch yourself out to a certain point"comfort zone". In order to increase your reach you need assistance from someone/something to push you. Not only is it painful, uncomfortable but may be upsetting. Now that we have been pushed beyond the norm our reach has increased so what was causing discomfort doesn’t even make you flinch.

That is all I will leave you with for now

More to come Feb 2013

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