Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Comunication or the Lack of it

I have no clue what you are saying?????????

Women- Some of us tend to be more verbally about our wants, likes, and desires in certain areas. Unfortunately I think we talk too much and give a lot of “fluff”. Oftentimes our point is missed because the story is too long, gossip is added in or we are all over the place with no sense of directions. How we talk to our homegirls should not be how we talk to our men.

Men- Some tend to not state enough of their overall wants, needs, dislikes. Sometimes your focus could be one aspect of your life to the point where we find you one dimensional, shallow and boring. The conversation starts getting too routine-like. The non verbal convos you all have with your home boys doesn’t work well with a lot of women.

How can we fix this? The answer is by not being self centered when communicating. Assuming the other person talks, listens and expresses themselves like you do is a start. Asking certain questions about past convos to see what the person got out of what you said. I have asked my homegirls “what is your point?” Men, I knnnnnooowww you all cant get away with saying this. But in a loving manner try to steer her in the direction of getting to the point. Emotions get in the way of us telling the story. I do want to mention there are some things that can trigger us missing what is being said. Here are a few:

1.Getting cut off in the middle of a sentence, point or thought

2. hearing its not that big a deal, you will be alright, stop being so sensitive

3. being placed on hold right in the middle of a crisis

4.having to repeat what you are saying multiple times

What your point? The moral of the story is…Personally I find myself listening to some of my homegirls and question to myself what the heck is she saying or OMG this girl is talking me to death about nothing or I hope she doesn’t talk like this to her dude because I know how would be lost.

What do you want your partner to get from this? I feel that every conversation is a chance to learn something different or reconfirm what you already think about your partner. Sometimes when I am ranting and raving I stop myself midway and just say bottom line is I don’t like for people to… or it makes me feel sad when… No room for anything to be lost in translation.

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