I am Capable...But am I willing

In December I took a quiz on lovecapcity.com


Score: 4 You are capable of giving and receiving love at the same rate but you don't. In each of your relationships you purposely hold back or you think that they are purposely holding back





I suggest everyone take the quiz. Sadly it did not take a quiz for me to figure this one out. Although the way it is stated really had me saying” Oh Wow I need to do better”. I am aware that my past has a lot to do with how I interact with people in general. I feel it’s easier to stay at arms length. I can see what the other person is or isn’t doing. However what good is that?!!! I mean in retrospect my track record has been kind of hit or miss. Some people have benefitted from having me in their life but I can’t say they same. Whose fault is it...Ultimately mine. The decision to have anyone in my life is mine…even family. No longer can I allow myself to continue with the same track record. That is the joy of the 30s…ability to reprogram. Although anytime is the best time…it’s good to have a restart. So by taking ownership of my choices I am now able to make the decision to “dive in” (Trey song voice) instead of falling back.

Re Start

I have been saying all this year that I would re-start my blog…while my intentions were good my follow through sucked! And I am not a fan of this behavior…people who know me know this if nothing else about me. So first I’d like to apologize: to the people I could have helped but chose to keep my thoughts to myself, the people who did not even know I had a blog, and to myself for not using an outlet to express myself.




This has been an interesting year FULL of lessons. Had someone advised me of what would have taken place my response would be “you have to have me mixed up with someone else”. I often say my life is pretty normal and mild but after replaying 2012 I beg to differ now. From health scares to the depletion of my bank accounts God has allowed my strength and faith to increase. Yeah normally I deal with unsuccessful dates, inconsiderate friends, discontentment career wise, and feeling like I am losing myself as an individual…BUT ummm 2012 I was pushed to a new level.

Oftentimes I say as hard headed as I am some lessons are better not to have to be taught again in the same way.As much as I have progressed in life, I am apprehensive on things dealing with self. It takes a lot for me to coach, play and cheer myself on. I do it but I believe that delays “the play”. I can be the best coach/cheerleader/supporting staff for others…even when I don’t receive. However when it comes to me I don’t push myself entirely out there.  This year God chose some extreme ways to allow me to “see, hear and feel”.2012, I prayed for help with fear….PSA- Not only does pray work pllleeeaaassse be mindful of what you are praying for. When I tell you God took me there. Ha! I get it…not all of it but most of it. Now my goal is to fully walk in purpose. I always have goals and challenges for myself but 2013 I will not 'L.I.V.E' (lassitude, ignavia, verecund, & effete).


I realize you can only stretch yourself out to a certain point"comfort zone". In order to increase your reach you need assistance from someone/something to push you. Not only is it painful, uncomfortable but may be upsetting. Now that we have been pushed beyond the norm our reach has increased so what was causing discomfort doesn’t even make you flinch.






That is all I will leave you with for now


More to come Feb 2013

Still In your LANE

Ever wonder why someone does or says something they cant back up? Especially when dating. If you can not call daily why start the routine in the beginning. I know it is important to put your best foot forward but be realistic, be intentional and be honest.

Realistic-Out of all people you should know how you operate, your schedule and what your best attributes are. If you spent more time focused on what we are capable of then....dating wouldn't suck so bad!

:for example:  I know we should put our best foot forward but make sure its your size shoe.

Intentional- Is this mutual? What the point? We all have lots going on. Dont waste your time or the other person's time. Because time is so prescious we should be intentional with dating. There is someone for everyone. Dont ruin someone who wants a relationship and you dont. Just find the person that matches your life.

Honest- What do you have to offer? What do they have to offer? These questions should be asked and oftentimes more than once. Let's be honest if we really think back on failed relationships or dating experiences we 'saw' signs.

Overall the goal is to do what you do best, be who with who best fits you and make it work. We must not lonly look out for others but ourselves too. We get nothing great out of overextending what or who we are to make someone like us. In the end we fail us and them>>>>

When is the right time to speak up

Should I just tell him/her how I feel?
But if we do and she/he isn't interested we've ruined the friendship and or embarrassed ourselves.

WAIT!!!!!!!!!what if she/he feels the same way or we confess months...years later and the response is they felt/feel the same way.

Its such an emotional gamble to put yourself in a position of being vulnerable. I tend to rate the risk...in everything not just work. It's easier with a stranger than with someone you know. With someone you don't know you really don't have anything to lose. You walk up and just go for it.

In life I believe you should always be like that unfortunately its easier said than done. I personally think this is the toughest thing to confess. Why don't we like taking risk? We take risk while driving and even interacting with people who we know aren't good for us. We only have one life to live. How many times do we get it wrong to get it right? Even to say we've tried 10 times we have to try TEN times.

So let's take a chance.  I challenge all us single people to take a risk. Tell someone you're interested and see how it goes. Either they will say Yes or No. Dont assume until you directly ask.